Trans Man Shares Experience of Being Misgendered During Childbirth: “Motherhood Isn’t Defined by Gender”
In a world that’s increasingly recognizing the importance of respecting gender identity, using someone’s correct name and pronouns isn’t just courteous—it’s vital. It validates who they are, no matter their gender identity or orientation.
For 37-year-old Bennett Kaspar-Williams from Los Angeles, that affirmation was missing during one of life’s most intimate moments: the birth of his child.
In October 2020, Bennett gave birth to his son Hudson via cesarean section, supported by his husband Malik. At the time, Bennett identified as a transgender man, using he/him pronouns (he now identifies as non-binary and uses both he/him and they/them). Despite clearly noting his gender on hospital paperwork, he was repeatedly misgendered by staff, often being referred to as “mom.”
Parenthood and Identity: A Personal Journey
Bennett began transitioning in 2014, three years after coming to terms with being transgender. While he underwent top surgery, he didn’t pursue lower-body procedures, which later made pregnancy possible. He and Malik decided to grow their family, which required Bennett to pause testosterone therapy—a process that came with emotional and physical hurdles.
“Honestly, we thought it would take a lot longer,” Bennett said, describing how he became pregnant naturally after a short time trying.
Just as they received the news, the COVID-19 pandemic began. “We found out right before the March 2020 lockdown,” he recalled. “The excitement quickly turned into concern about navigating a pregnancy during such uncertain times.”
The Emotional Toll of Misgendering
Rather than feeling empowered by the experience of carrying and giving birth, Bennett found himself disheartened by constant misgendering from medical professionals.
“The most dysphoric part of pregnancy wasn’t my body—it was how others treated me,” he explained. Despite clearly presenting as male and noting his pronouns, medical staff consistently referred to him as “mom.”
Speaking to the New York Post, Bennett described how deeply embedded gender norms shaped his treatment: “Pregnancy care in America is built around selling this ideal of ‘motherhood.’ That framework left no room for my identity as a man.”
Redefining Parenthood Beyond Gender
Today, Bennett is an outspoken advocate for inclusive reproductive healthcare. He challenges the idea that childbirth should be associated exclusively with women, emphasizing that biology doesn’t determine gender—or parenting roles.
“You can’t assume that someone with a uterus can or wants to have children,” he said. “Equating womanhood with motherhood is simply inaccurate. Some women can’t or don’t want to become mothers. And not everyone who gives birth is a woman.”
A Growing Family, A Larger Purpose
Now raising their joyful three-year-old son, Bennett and Malik are proud parents—and proud to share their story in hopes of inspiring change.
Their journey is a powerful reminder: respecting a person’s gender identity—especially during sensitive experiences like childbirth—isn’t a courtesy. It’s a necessity.
What do you think about Bennett’s story? Have you witnessed or experienced something similar? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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